When wakeup calls are at 5:03 am,
and someone small doesn’t understand that 5:03 am wakeups mean a SEVEN-HOUR stretch until afternoon naptime,
sometimes, all you can do, short of grumbling back at the toddler (though, trust me, that doesn’t work, and never will), is bake and eat chocolate chip cookies.
I use America’s Test Kitchen’s Thick and Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies recipe. I’ll NEVER need another one, never not ever. (It alone is probably worth subscribing to their site, or buying the America’s Test Kitchen Family Baking book.) I eat one, freeze the rest, and then eat the rest of them all straight out of the freezer. The only acceptable chip is Ghirardelli 60%. Please, do yourself, your spouse, and your toddler a big favor and eat yourself a batch today.